Not Playing Fair…


God has a very interesting (no, I didn’t say funny!) sense of dry wit (no, I didn’t call it humor!).  Not funny, not a sense of humor.  But I do enjoy His sarcasm when He chose the new Brooks Brother cover.  I mean, really.  The happy couple with the Golden Retriever, and the boy that looks just like his mom.  I have the wine bottle uncorked before the catalog hits the counter.

God, 1…Me 0.  Sigh.

The boyfriend, I guess ex-boyfriend Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (worked for JK) thought to get a sublet for the month of March, as I figure out what my future holds.  A kind gesture that keeps me in my home, and saves me from commuting to Westchester during the coming blizzards.  Still, as I sit here looking around my apt (albeit with a glass of wine, watching my DVR’d Lost, and eating Thai food – all in all, pretty psyched), I still question if that is a good idea.  But here we are, and I do accept his offer.  I’m not going to heal in the next four weeks, and this saves me temporarily from the MTA.

It’s weird being here by myself.  Not bad, just weird.  But it of course allows the whole ‘thinking’ thing to set in.  Ah, thinking – a detriment to all women.  Analyzing, overanalyzing, manifesting, creating  – we do this to ourselves, you know.  But it’s important that when you go through such hurtful, heart-wrenching affairs that you come out the wiser.  And I can’t help thinking that it’s not fair that we can can review our pasts and connect our dots, and see what led from that to this, but we cannot  know  what constellation today’s dots will one day form.

God 2…Me 0.

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2 thoughts on “Not Playing Fair…

  1. i think i know that family. they live in westhampton and belong to our beach club. the mother doesn’t work, but she has a full-time nanny and plays tennis a couple times a week with her equally annoying, non-working blonde girlfriends.

    the husband is killing himself to make ends meet after losing practically everything in the market but they’d never let anyone know they’re having financial problems. or, for that matter, marital problems which is typically the unfortunate outcome of financial problems.

    see? all of a sudden things don’t seem so bad.

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