Yesterday, I discovered that trying to quit Equinox is like trying to escape Nazi Germany. It turns out that I have to either lose my job… or a limb… to be able to cancel my membership. So, somehow, I need to figure out how I’m going to balance this new life of mine.
Friday, while sitting in my cube, I was handed my lease and my new set of keys. It all became very real in that moment. It took me the entire day to sit down and read it. But when I did, I was taken aback – it’s a month-to-month lease, which is what I secretly wanted. I had been hesitant to sign a one year commitment to stay in this city. Now that my options are open, I want to see where they lead – upon graduation, in looking for job post-MBA…London, San Fran, who knows where life will take me. I could stay, I could go…it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
Today I wait until a plane flies to Salt Lake City…and then I converge on my home, to continue packing up my life there. The next 48 hours are going to be beyond brutal…but my mom and my sister will be there. They will arrive with bags of goodies from Wal-Mart – wine glasses, dishes, things that are going to make my new apartment feel like…home.
I won’t have a lot, but I am working on not defining my worth by the possessions of my peers. And not to define my existence by where I find myself today. Because even in failing and having my heart broken, at least I had the audacity to try. At least I know I am capable of feeling that much. It’s in this that I am abundant.