One of my goals is to become a real believer in not defining every single thing, to not create meaning where none is intended. To not analyze someone’s hidden agenda, to not ponder someone’s thoughts, to not scrutinize their intentions. Because we’re never going to know the whole story. We will never know a person’s true calculation. It seems like every time you think you’ve figured out what something is, it just becomes something else.
Ironically, a quote I have had on my facebook page for over a year has been repeated back to me several times recently. “When people show you who they are, believe them.” We make so many excuses, so many justifications for the way others act, but I’m sure that all of you reading were not raised to take people for granted, to treat people like less. Instead we come up with reasons why…why people write, say, express the things they do. It’s because of their relationship with their father, or they had their heart broken when they were younger, or their sister was mean, or their mother an alcoholic, or life just plain old didn’t work out the way they imagined.
To that I say, “Get in line.” That’s the G-rated version of what I would say, anyway. Buck up, buttercup.
If I’ve learned anything in the last few years, it’s how to size someone up. Yes, I might ignore what I see. But I’ve always known what I was doing. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.
A person’s integrity should be everything. How well a person handles disagreement is a window into how well one can handle a crisis. It’s not hard to love someone, a relationship, a situation, life, family, a career…when things are good. The measure of a person is how he or she behaves when things are otherwise.
We’ve all put too much faith in people, have forgiven too many things, and have been disappointed along the way, repeatedly. When will it stop? When will we say enough is enough…
I know when…when we stop enabling the behavior, and take some responsibility for allowing it to happen in the first place. We all have been in this situation in some capacity…whether it’s a family member, co-worker, wife / husband / significant other. And we, in our own way, have put ourselves in this situation. It’s about time to stand up and say “when,” don’t you think?