Another One Bites the Dust

August 31 is my birthday.  A day that will live in infamy?  I always thought so.  I am the exception to the rule, the one that dreads, hates, despises, detests my birthday.  I distinctly remember being sixteen and feeling the expectation of the age, what it was supposed to mean, and not what it meant.

Don’t misunderstand… I’ve had great birthday after great birthday, always surrounded by family, friends, even surprise parties, complete with cake, candles, best wishes, and congratulations.  But still, the weight of the number has always reminded me of where I was supposed to be, and not where I was.  So, now at the age of 32…did I expect to be single, without a blackberry that needed communication, a diaper that required my immediate attention, or a dog that needed to be walked? Of course not.  But that doesn’t make me forget what I do have…a family that suddenly whisked me away to Saratoga to be surrounded by my horses, and my Tuesday consisting of being taken out to lunch by my co-workers,  eventually ending the night with a yoga class and a glass of wine on my patio alone in the quiet solitude I’ve grown to understand and appreciate.

On the night of every August 30, I stay up until midnight, my mini-New Year’s eve of sorts.  Instead of the celebratory countdown, every year I partake in another ritual of my own.  While I’m a believer in New Year’s Resolutions, I’m a steadfast follower of birthday resolutions.  While billions of people around the world make their vows on the eve of January, I’ve always acknowledged MY new year beginning on my birthday, a day no one else is making the decision to be better, to make her life different, and acknowledge her gratitude privately.  While just another evening to all the rest, it’s a time of my own private renewal and reflection.

I won’t give you my 32 year-old resolutions, but I wanted to share the clip above that most, if not all of you have seen.  This past year, I watched it over and over – it made me laugh, cry, and remember that there is such joy and love to be experienced in this world.  This clip bleeds happiness…and reminds me that if I can feel the power of joy and love through a broadband connection, then I’m very close to the real thing.

So while I won’t repeat the trials of my 31st year (start with post 1) , I will say that I do plan on my 32nd being full of equal change.  I foresee a serious career move, hopefully a city move… and who knows what else lies in store?  What I do know is I’m not getting any younger.  So all these plans I have for the future?  The husband, the kids, the dog, the horse, the great job…If not now, when? It doesn’t have to happen exactly the way I planned, but it’s time, now an hour away from my 32nd year, to make a new plan…one that includes the same happiness, just in different shapes and sizes.


One thought on “Another One Bites the Dust

  1. Oh my dear love…you are the same age of my younger daughter; I guessed when we are at NJEC but now I see it…
    Happy Birthday! Enjoy, eat cake if that’s your wont and savor…I have lived long enough to have been you…and I was. Remember what we are taught in our riding lessons…breathe…

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