Wynonna Judd is a rock star. I don’t mean that as literal as it sounds…of course, she is a famous singer. But I think she is a rock star for so many more reasons. Talk about being put through the ringer. It’s one thing to have to go through the pain and anguish of life – but to have to do it in front of the world, documented by paparazzi…well it makes me appreciate my quiet life. But despite the trials of celebrity, the woman knows what she is talking about. It was when I heard her say ‘I can be a victim or a victor” that I realized it is very easy to blame… but when you do you miss the lesson that you were supposed to learn.
I don’t know where I found this article, but it’s about how easily and often couples think that they are with the wrong person…when in fact everyone marries the wrong person. Um, what?? I had to read further for an explanation.
We know that we change as the years pass, alone and as a couple. But the article states “If we believe we must find the right person to marry, then the course of our marriage becomes a constant test to see if we were correct in that choice.” It’s the problem we face with having too many choices, as I’ve written about before. The doctor interviewed reaffirms that “people are happier with the choices they make when there are relatively few choices from which to choose.” With too many choices, we become fearful of lost opportunities with “right” partners, constantly questioning our decisions. Every bump in the road is a re-evaluation of the relationship…every disagreement a reason that the relationship isn’t working. Needless to say, I know a lot about this topic. And I can tell you, it’s impossible to fight that mindset. When your partner’s mind works like this, you don’t stand a chance of making it.
Going further, the good doc offers great advice – “Be the right person, instead of looking for the right person.” Simply put. But hard to do.
I heard this the other day and it moved me…the idea that we are built to love– maybe you’ll think the same:
When you have children you want to provide them with
everything. Not material items
those are not under your control
but the greatest gifts life has to offer are beyond your influence
among them finding true love
my wife and I found one another when we were very young
we were lucky
I love my wife
I know that what I can accomplish alone
does not compare to what I can do with her by my side.
Happiness – to love and be loved
these are the pursuits of life
they cannot be achieved in solitude and that is by design
life is not meant to be lived alone.