There are some days I choose to follow horoscopes and some days I do not. Like anyone else, I apply them to my life when it suits me. “Finances improve in November….” Yes, please. “ There’s a fortuitous change in your transportation…” Uh, hey Yahoo, I’m still spending too much money on cabs and don’t yet have my Jeep Wrangler with my Golden Retriever in the passenger seat…let’s not rub it in, shall we?
But regardless, still, everyday I look. I suppose it’s to find a glimmer of hope…and also a rare chance at having a glimpse of the future that is impossible to see. It makes us feel in control, allows us to believe we have some semblance of power. It makes it a bit easier to say “Haha, see, I knew that my love life was going to improve in March and that I was going to have a career breakthrough in May!” Of course, I don’t take these daily two sentence hoaxes as gospel. But every little bit helps….
Of course, then there are days where you get ones like this…
” One of life’s great ironies, Eileen, is that very often the “stuff” you’re trying to avoid right now is the same “stuff” you’re going to miss most once you move on.”
Oh, I hate the ones that actually have meaning….the ones that insert your name, as if your Mac is actually speaking only to you, and not all of the other millions of Virgos whose inboxes contain the same message.
Today, I thought for the first time, quite seriously, of quitting my job, walking away from the NYC career prospects that have come my way in the last three weeks, and instead…leave. I usually dismiss those notions upon arrival in my brain because I am quite aware of how great I have it here – wonderful family and friends, my weekly horseback riding lessons, my own apartment, a job that allows me to pay my bills, a new degree that has already opened up doors. Why on earth would I want to move to a place thousands of miles from home, where I know a handful of (albeit) very cool people? When all is said and done, I should not be thinking of buying a car and driving cross-country. But I am. Because what adventure has ever started with all one’s ducks in a row….
I’m getting major support for my upheaval, of course, from those who have picked up their lives and moved them without much hesitation….from those who are quick to say “yes, move to San Francisco so we can be neighbors!” …and of course, my Type-A tendencies remind me that January is when I begin paying my student loans….that I would be foolish to move to arguably the most expensive city in the United States without a job….that I am much more marketable to employers while I am still employed….I know, I know. It’s been years of thinking like this. But I also know that Norman Cousins said it best when he wrote “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we are still living.”
Maybe I should have a little faith in myself that I will figure it all out. That a gal as (take a seat as I toot my own horn) charming, smart, and funny as me (see, that wasn’t that bad) will figure it out.
Or maybe I should just stop reading horoscopes and instead follow the wisdom of one….“And will you succeed? Yes! You will indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed)” – Dr Seuss