An avid blogreader, I came upon this talk on TED.com, one of the best websites I have ever had the pleasure of bookmarking. Listening to the words of a Brene Brown , a PhD scholar in research and social work , I came away with a clearer understanding of courage, connection…and that vulnerability isn’t an expression of weakness.
It turns out that “those people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.” It all comes down to this….what we believe we deserve opens up the door for us to give it, and thus, receive it. It’s not about thinking you deserve to be loved unconditionally. It’s your ability to love unconditionally that allows such a gift into your life.
Very simple, right? It sounds obvious to think that, of course, you deserve love and connection…but allowing yourself to feel the vulnerability of giving more than you receive, of loving more than you are loved, of saying ‘I love you’ first, of not knowing the outcome but still investing 100% of yourself, of embracing your imperfections and loving another because of theirs, of dismissing the notion of being allowed to control and predict….only in having the courage to dive into the shallow end of the vulnerability pool…only then can we experience the breadth of the love that comes with being connected to another. Likewise, “the one thing that keeps us out of our connection is the fear we are not worthy of connections. “
It all comes down to having the audacity to wear your vulnerability like a badge earned in Girl Scouts. Brown reminded us that courage and bravery are two different entities…that courage comes from the Latin world “cor,” meaning heart, and thus courage means to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so we must have the courage to be imperfect, to throw ourselves into the unknown… to not be afraid to go where we’ve never gone before and do what we’ve never done before… because both of these are necessary to have what we’ve never had and be who we’ve never been.
To let go of who we should be in order to be who we are…
A big takeaway from watching a twenty-minute video.