Some love lessons learned this past 365…


There are not many who understand the weight of this week.  It was one year ago, on February 20, 2010, that I wrote my first post on this blog.  For a year, you’ve read about the changes in my life…the ups and downs …and the laterals…so no need to bore the experts with the small details.  Just know that this week is not rainbows and butterflies. Although the constant nearby chocolate doesn’t hurt.

I’m very lucky to say that, after these past 365, I still love love.  I continue to believe that Hallmark cannot designate a 24 hour period that forgives a routine 364.  I believe that love should be expressed everyday, especially the days that it is hard to.  If it was easy, everyone would do it.

I believe that everyday is an opportunity to love hard and to love well…to grow with each other and mature separately….and today I believe stronger than I ever have that forgiveness and gratitude are the foundations of true love, not newness and variety.

“Even when love isn’t enough…somehow it is.”  Was this quote written by a poet, a romantic comedy screenwriter, an author of young adult vampire novels?  No.  It was written by Steven King.  Naturally, only a man who has the ability to strike fear in our hearts in the form of ghosts, supernatural beings, and clowns can put love so simply.

This past year, I’ve learned much.

That being frightened of being hurt again does not allow me to hurt others first.

That honesty is the most prized possession and something that cannot be imitated.

That a midnight chocolate soufflé on Valentine’s Day tastes way better than at any other time of the year.

That Shakespeare was way before his time, and I dare a man today to try to replicate his passion.

That there are a lot (let me repeat, a lot) of men in this city.

That words are powerful weapons.  But that our actions cut an even deeper wound.

That friends step up to the plate much more than you ever thought possible.

That comfort can be found in cowboy boots, on a blog, in a stranger’s kind words, in a glass of Cabernet under white Christmas lights strewn about your apartment, in a surprise rose given by a doorman, in a friend teaching you that tofu is not ALL that bad, and in your therapist telling you that “you are the funniest person I have ever met in my 73 years on this planet.”

That all it takes is a lost security deposit to move to San Francisco this summer.

That romantic comedies never show you the year (or the day) AFTER the couple falls into each other’s arms.  I want to see Katherine Heigl and whatshisface one year later?  Okay, Paramount?

That friends will be brutally honest if just given the platform.

That the ultimate goal of each day should be to be the best version of ourselves possible, and that we should not waste time on the people who decide to be less than they are capable of being.

Did I mention there was a lot of men in this city?  Who like funny blue-eyed brunettes?

That midnight is a perfectly acceptable bedtime.

That 7am is an unacceptable time of the morning.

That a horse’s heart is larger than a human’s, in so many ways.

That true love is a choice and both people have to choose it.

That there are too many good people in this world to spend time on the ones that suck,

That the key to love is finding someone able to love your faults as much as you love theirs.

 

I could go on and on…and have over these past twelve months.  You get the gist.   You’ve gotten the gist. Long story not quite so short, we deserve the same amount we give.  And not one iota less.  Jot that down. Let that be a lesson to you.

 

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