The In-between


At this point in my life there is nothing more delicious on a Sunday night than the dishes drying in the rack, the countertop emitting the faintest scent of windex, the next morning’s coffee ready for brewing in the morning, a book ready to be unfurled, and the rain pouring outside.   Most of my friends and family don’t have the pleasure of this silence.  And, knock on green duvet, there will be a time in my life when I’m reading bedtime stories, packing lunches, and starching collars before the next new chaotic day.

But until then, I listen to the silence.  Not an empty silence, but one full of wishes for the future, and one that reminds me to revel in my life here in NYC now, because I won’t always be here – in this apartment, in this singlehood, in this moment.

Often, it seems we spend our lives in-between – waiting for something to happen. We plan, we organize, we wait, we organize some more, so that everything is perfect for when the “time” comes.

I realize now that I have spent much of life unappreciating limbo. All the planning, the waiting, the preparation, the scheduling for whatever IT may be – a move, a career change, meeting Mr, Right – or all three for some of us – it’s not about the endgame.  The parts in-between the big moments are big moments themselves. These are the periods of introspection and reflection, the times that you get to know yourself really quick if you are open to it.  These in-between moments are the ones that teach us true connection – to a future partner, family, friends, our dreams, ourselves.  For there is nothing more important than human connection.

The waiting period is necessary  – our brain needs to shift to accept the new idea, and the body and mind must prepare for change.  The in-between time tests our readiness.  And reminds our heart to be in the present.

With some uncertain and hopeful months ahead of me that will drive change and test my will, it’s time to revel in the in-between: spend time with friends made here, cross off things on my NYC bucket list, and appreciate all that this place has offered me.

In short, it’s time to do the limbo.

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4 thoughts on “The In-between

  1. Hi,

    Found your blog on the BC Alumni blogroll on LinkedIn today (I am A&S ’95 and a fellow blogger). Have been thoroughly enjoying reading your posts — you are such a talented writer.

    As a wife and mother of 1 pre-teen girl + 3 young boys, I read your ode to the in-between with some envy. Sure, being able to enjoy a quiet evening to myself would be nice from time to time, but I am more envious that you have touched on something I am just now realizing myself: there is no “endgame”. You have to appreciate all of the “in-betweens” over the course of your life, because it goes by very fast.

    Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

    • Hi MinivanGal –
      I just spent some time re-reading posts from a year ago, and stumbled upon this one, and your comment, which oddly I don’t think I saw a year ago. But I wanted to reach out and say thank you for making me see my quiet nights as just another step of a journey –

  2. “limbo” is the best invention ever. i had some of my fondest, most hilarious, most decadent, most naughty moments during limbo time.

    what you’ll realize later in life when you look back is that limbo is actually a VERY big part of your life journey. it’s not just a waiting period. it’s when you forge the deepest girl-friendships (because unfortunately we all drop each other in priority when a guy comes into the picture, let alone KIDS). it’s also the time when you are absolutely, totally free to make decisions based on what you alone want.

    i can’t even plan dinner without thinking about my nuclear family. some nights i just want cheese and crackers, wine, pj’s and a Jersey Shore marathon.

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