Road Trip Round-Up – Best Quotes, Song Lyrics, and Signs


Best quotes

Elizabeth: “Our carriage driver looks like Gavin Degraw.”


Eileen: “I got dipped. By an old man.”


Eileen: “If you’re going to sit across from us, you’re going to have to talk about something more interesting than that.” (I get obnoxious when I drink Bud Light)


Elizabeth: “Remember when you had that guy in a headlock? He was shell-shocked.” (why do I always put guy in headlocks?  No wonder I’m single…


“Such a nice couple.” (about Elizabeth and me)


Elizabeth: “How does wine taste like the seaaa???” (after reading a description of a bottle of white – and it did taste like the sea…)


Eileen:”I can’t believe how good these ribs are.”

Elizabeth: “I can’t believe how good my life is.”


Eileen:”When it’s a three napkin dinner you know it’s a good one.”

Elizabeth:”Except it’s lunch.”


Elizabeth”It’s just a flesh wound.” (Meanwhile, I fell off a patio and into a rose bush, while salvaging my Mac above my head)


Elizabeth:”I will put the bayou-whopping on you.”


Eileen: “I’m concerned that my feet no longer fit into my shoes.” (I gained at least 10 lbs on this trip, so much that my shoes stopped fitting).


Eileen: “Why do I have to eat until I’m in physical pain?” (see above)


Ed: “I did the right fucking thing, which I never do.”


Ed: “She has a questionable prescription drug problem.” (describing an ex)


Eileen: “Are we going to see the vaginas now? (talking about a Georgia O’Keefe exhibit)

Eilizabeth: “Well, we don’t have to.”

Eileen: “No, I really want to.”


Woman at The Ventian: “The canal with the gondolas is on the 2nd floor.”

Elizabeth: “Oh, of course it is…”


Eileen: “I’m actually really sore from yoga.”

Elizabeth:: “You know what’s good for that?”

Eileen: “Oooh what?!”



Best Country Song lyrics heard while driving:

Here’s a quarter for someone who cares.

Tequila makes her clothes fall off.

If you think the life I love is too country, truck yeah.

She loves me like Jesus does.

Honky Tonk heroes like me…

Living down in Waco made a wacko out if me.

She’s 10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound sack.

She cranks my tractor.

You got a taste like honey, and I got a little beer money.

Girl, you make my speakers go boom, boom.

Hide, your crazy, and start acting like a lady.

I can’t believe how much it turns me on to be your man.

Best Signs Seen

Yee-haw for Yahweh (outside a Baptist Church)

BBQ Awaits.  39 Miles. (billboard outside Houston)

Keep Your Laws off My Guns. (on a truck’s bumper sticker in TX)


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