- Giving up booze this month is hard. I think I was more interesting when I had a drink in my hand. Scratch that. Other people were more interesting when I had a drink in my hand. Alas, yay club soda with lemon! Snooze….
- Why do I watch True Blood? It’s hands down the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Yet I can’t take my eyes off of it. My IQ drops every time Bill uses a Southern accent. The only thing worse is the supporting cast of The Newsroom. Which, of course, I’ll also watch.
- I’m unsure if my chiropractor is just good at his job or is hitting on me. It’s getting awkward, especially when we have to do those weird stretches where he lays his body on top of….waaaaaiiiiiiit.
- If anyone wants an update on Ray Charles, my blind golden retriever friend on Facebook, he woke up today, yawned, played with a ball, and then went to bed.
- I’m trying to teach myself music and singers. I win pop culture when it comes to tv and film, but I know nothing, John Snow, (nailed it!) when it comes to music. I know what I like, but I have no idea who sings what, or why I like it, or really what they’re saying at all. Now ask me how I make awesome playlists. I have no idea. But lucky the person who rides shotgun.
- There are many things that can change a life – a letter is one of them. I am going to singlehandledly bring back the hand-written card. It’s why I’m here, ladies and gentlemen. Applaud during the break.
- I have a big blog following in Singapore. I couldn’t find Singapore on a map, probably because of all the pollution I’m reading about. But…shout out to Singapore! Stay inside!
- I regularly wear workout clothes, and I don’t work out. I’m hoping that lycra has some sort of osmosis-like qualities that burn calories because Nike is emblazoned on my hip. In fact, I’m counting on this. Stay tuned.
- I’m trying to like Twitter. I mean, I hate it, but I’m trying to read it and use it. So I follow funny people. If you’re not funny in 140 characters or less, you are not being followed by @eiburke.
- Some of my favorite tweets:
- @prodigalsam: Ate a piece of dark chocolate with sea salt & now I have bangs & work at Anthropologie.
- @KenJennings (yes, the Jeopardy Ken Jennings): Apart from my children, nothing is more disappointing to me than raisins in carrot cake.
- @AnnaKendrick47: Prominently featured shot of the woman’s wedding ring? You’re not fooling anyone, cat food commercials.
- @seancranbury: WARNING: if you see posts offering free clip of the new Nickelback album DO NOT CLICK. It links to a free clip of the new Nickelback album.
- @roblathan :To find out who views your Facebook profile the most, look in the mirror.
- @kellyoxford: Saw a normal looking guy driving a BMW with dozens of stuffed frog animals on his dash & back window, so stop feeling like you’re a fuck up.
- @ChaseMit:The hardest word at the Scripps National Spelling Bee is F-R-I-E-N-D-S.
Really, I can’t stop, it’s too good. One more:
- @mattkoff: I think we all want the same thing: validation based solely on our Spotify activity.
Ok, whew I’m done. For now.