I’m by ZERO means a feminist. But….


Today, I read an article about rape-culture and I had mixed feelings.  Whereas most females will most definitely have a different perspective,  I DO believe that people are  responsible for their own actions.  But, that doesn’t mean that someone, anyone,  gets to take advantage of that.  As this particular article, and subsequent marketing campaigns, state: “Not being able to say no does not mean yes.”

This is all to say that tonight, or this morning at 3am, I’m pissed.  At one of my favorite bars that I frequent, I was in the position to aid someone dear to me to a cab.  Leaning on me with all of her weight and unable to walk a straight line, I totally sympathized.  We’ve ALL been there, and because I’ve been there too often, I’ve lightened the alcohol intake recently and take care of my people.

But as I struggled to get her to a cab TEN feet away, I was met with incredible resistance.  From her?  No.  From FOUR different men within a few feet, belonging to different groups, who wanted to buy her and myself a drink, with a ‘hey, where are you going, looks like the fun has just started. Don’t go.

In the newfound practice of biting my tongue (which I’m now believing is ridiculously overrated), I said nothing for a FULL 20 SECONDS.  For anyone whom knows me, this is a lifetime.  Until the 27-year old douchebag said, “let’s get her another and see what happens.”  With the bouncer at Balboa ignoring my request for assistance, I tossed her 115 pound frame to my left side, took his face in my right palm, shoved him off-kilter, and stated, “I will END you.”

Keep in mind, I’m stone-cold sober.  I literally have a glass of water in my hand.  I request to place said glass of water on a nearby outside table, as I cannot hold her and it simultaneously.  The two gentlemen at the table said, and I quote…”why don’t you two join us? We could have more fun.”

In an attempt to not put men in headlocks in bars as I have a well-documented history of doing, I ignored them and had a lengthy discussion with the cabdriver about the necessities. I closed the cab door, sent her on her way, realized how many times my friends over the years had done the same, and said a silent prayer to each as I stepped away from the curb. Then, I knocked the glass of water into those two gentlemens’ laps and threatened their young lives if they ever felt the need to talk to anyone I knew within a 2 mile radius.

This is all to say – we need to take care of people who mean something to us.  Because, I’d hate to say it, but no one else is.

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2 thoughts on “I’m by ZERO means a feminist. But….

  1. I can really relate to this post! Rape culture is never funny, nor are people who try to take advantage of others in those situations.

    After reading your title though, I have to comment saying that I think there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be a feminist – being a feminist just means you believe in equality between the sexes. It’s crazy to me how many people seem afraid of that word! We would not have the right to vote, workplace non-discrimination legislation etc. without feminists and the amazing work they do for equality! Just wanted to share and spread the feminist love.

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